"Griggsy ho"

The other morning the kiddos and I were praying 

for the orphans around the world on our "Orphan poster"
in our kitchen.

There are some kids from China and some from 

Ethiopia on the poster.

As we were discussing some of the children,

Griggs said,

"Griggsy no China."

I said

"Yes, Griggys is Chinese,

Hagan is Chinese,

Jorja and Jailyn are Chinese."

a bit more animated, Griggs added,

"Griggsy  N.O.  China."

and again...

"Griggsy N.O.  China,

Griggsy ho."

(which is Griggys' word for "home")

"Yes, baby you are home
HOME
F.O.R.E.V.E.R."

Don't you just love his dinner prayer?
Thankful everyone is "ho"!

What the Today Show forgot to mention

Today the Today show did a report on 

"re-homing" internationally adopted children.

I'm not sure where they did their research because 

I don't believe their research was thorough. 

They said that this is like child trafficking.

I must disagree. 

As y'all know, we have six internationally adopted children.

Six beautiful children whom we love 

as much as our biological children.

The first time I ever heard of disrupting an adoption -

I had very strong feelings against it.

 I guess I still have strong feelings but have grown

in my response. 

I don't know of any adoptive parent who goes into 

an adoption without their hearts open to a beautiful child,

wanting to love this child as their own,

and willing to do anything for this child. 

In International adoption,

 (I wont speak for domestic adoption because we have never

adopted domestically - so I have no knowledge.)

a family is given a "file".

This file contains information that the orphanage discloses  -

heath reports, and personality reports. 

Some of these reports are correct,

some are not. 

Sometimes the reality of a child's health or emotional status 

is less then portrayed 

and sometimes the reality is more. 

Example:

Jorja's report said that she was HepB

and that at 4 yrs of age she could not stack 3 blocks.

Jorja is the healthiest person in our family -

and believe me she can stack more then 3 blocks.

Elijah's report said that he was a girl.

Guess what? 

He's a boy!!!

Hagan's report said nothing 

about his sleep apnea, or his spinal compression.

And though medical issues are easier to understand,

there are many emotional issues that were not in our children's files -

some have been easy to work through,

some not so much!

There are also friends of mine whose adopted children could not 

accept the love of a family. 

They manipulated, lied, deceived, and endangered 

the adoptive family. 

I know for a fact that non of these families threw their children away.

I know for a fact that they all have suffered through 

this journey along with the child. 

I do believe all children deserve a family.

But sometimes, it takes a while to get that child

in the perfect family. 

I also believe that this goes back to my post a few months ago,

I plead.

We need to support the adoptive families. 

Some of our children have scars that take a lifetime to heal,

and some will never heal.

Without support from the body of Christ 

there will be more disruptions.  

I ask,

if you are contemplating adoption -

do not go into it blindly.

please go into the adoption with as much knowledge as you possibly can.

I know that most agencies require specific reading and training,

but remember -

it's different when it is in your house. 

Remember, every child, and situation is different.

Your life will be changed,

your child's life will be changed,

with knowledge and support we can pray that it will change for the better.

Without knowledge there will be more disruptions.

Please, if you are having a hard time with your adopted child,

as anyone having a hard time with their biological child...

reach out. 

Don't hide it - it's not good for anyone. 

and FYI - I have never heard of a disruption, re-homing,
situation that the new family did not have a home study
and a social worker in place!

I also know there is evil in the world and there are horrible
stories of children being used.
But, the media cannot be able to make it sound like
anyone who disrupts an adoption is evil. 

Timing...

During this last hospital stay,

I noticed something different in Hagan.

He acted a bit different.

Others may no have even noticed. 

But, momma sure did! 

With each over night hospital stay
we've had since Hagan has been home.

I have noticed Hagan showing signs of bonding a little bit 

more and more.

His first surgery,

he was content to 

let me lay next to him -

seemed to like having me there -
but could kinda take me or leave me.

This surgery...

he wouldn't let me leave his side! 

As he fought going to sleep he would reach out for me to hold 

his hand.
When nurses and doctors came in his room -
his eyes were fixed on me.

He even scooted over on the bed, 

so that there would be room for me to lay with him.  

I am so thankful that our Hagan is learning 

that momma wants to take care of him! 

He doesn't have to do it all by himself!

Though this surgery took us by surprise
I know this was all God's timing.
For Hagan to heal physically he need to begin healing emotionally,
and that takes time.

Hagan is doing great!
He is pretty stiff in the morning -
but is doing really, really well.
Nights are still rough and he is sore -
but day time has been good.
Docs told us it would be at least a 3 week recovery -
sounds short considering the surgery he had.
Amazing how the body heals!!

 Our miracle boy for sure!!

They say, I'm lucky...

(just me trying to get inside my son's head)

The van pulled into my drive way.

Strangers got out of the van,

Mr. Y brought them to me and my brother.

He told us that these strangers were our parents,

our mom and dad. 

Mr. Y said that we were lucky.

Mr. Y had taken care of us since we arrived at
this orphanage so, 

I believed him and decided it was okay - 

I'll play with these people.

I'll even go away with these people.

I don't know what they have to offer - but it gets me out of this place. 

I get to leave the compound walls,

we'll see what these people have to offer. 

Leaving with these people was okay.

My brother came with me,

I figure brother and I can take on the world together. 

We took a plane to our new home,

met our new brothers and sisters 

and loved our new toys.

This new family even has water near by!

A huge tub of water - they call a "pool".

This momma lady - takes us there a lot.

We must be lucky! 

This momma person always has food for us -

so that is cool! 

It's not the same food that I had at Mr. Y's house.

(some I like more, some not so much!) 

This must be what Mr. Y meant when 

he said that we are lucky.

These people are pretty cool...

but there are days that I don't like life.

There are times when I miss my old friends,

and the things we did - 

like having pee-wars 

(this momma lady gets really upset when I play that game).

Everything smells different. 

There was a smell every morning at Mr. Y's house,

I miss that smell and the sounds of the roosters 

and people chanting in the streets. 

At this house I have to use an inside voice in the mornings.

These people don't like to play until the sun is shining -

I'm not feeling very lucky.

I'd rather play and be loud while I watch the sun rise. 

The daddy guy -

he gave me a bike! 

That's cool!  

They let me ride it on the grass and on the sidewalk,

they let me build a ramp to jump my bike from...

but they don't let me ride it into the trees,

and they don't let me ride into the cars. 

They make me get off my bike and rest when I 

run into my brother and new sisters bikes. 

Why wont they just let me play - 

I'm not feeling very lucky. 

And then...

they keep saying things to me...

like I'm supposed to know what they are saying.

Don't they know - 

just because I repeat what they say, 

it doesn't mean I understand what I'm saying,

and I soooo don't understand what they are saying -

I'm soooo NOT lucky.

I just want to go back to what I know.

I want to go back to where people don't 

care about me - 

and I can do whatever I want. 

Consequences... whatever!

I can take it -

it's these people who keep saying,

I love you.

I can't take that! 

What are they going to want from me?

How can they love me? 

I'm not feeling lucky -

 I'll throw the biggest fit they have 

ever seen! 

I'll show them! 

Stop telling me I'm lucky. 

I don't know what happened to my first family,
the family who looks like me,

the one with the same skin color as me.

I loved them.

If I love these people will they leave me too?

I'm strong enough to handle that -

leave me, I don't care!
ohhh but the mommy lady -
she does give good hugs!

What is a boy to do?  

Child like faith

It's been 30 days since this little man walked into 

our lives. 

He has trusted us from day one.

He has surrendered any survivor instincts to us,

and allows us to love on him. 

He has his opinions, don't get me wrong.

He tells us what he wants and doesn't want,

and tells us what he likes and doesn't like.

I don't know how he does it.

I would be kicking and screaming 

and this sweet, amazing boy has faith that we are 

going to take care of him,

and that we have his best interest in heart. 

As I type this he is about 4 feet away from me,

putting together a puzzle,

singing away.

Looking at me every so often,

smiling 

and puckering up to blow me a kiss. 

I wish and pray for this kind of faith!

Ohhh, the faith of a child. 

sleeping arrangements

Many people have asked us how we work bedtime

with so many little ones. 

Let's just say -

our, what we thought was once a large master bedroom,

is getting smaller and smaller! 

Presently we have Hagan and Griggs in our room,

we have a toddler bed for Hagan and 

a crib for Griggs. 

Both boys begin their slumber in our bed. 

They fall asleep fairly quickly in our bed as I lay with 

them holding their hands. 

Griggs always falls asleep quickly,

which gives Hagan and I some sweet one-on-one time,

until he falls asleep.

When we go to bed, 

we move the boys to their beds -

just cause, Mom and Dad need a few good hours of slumber.

Hagan is a good night time sleeper and 

has yet to wake during the night.

Griggs usually wakes up a few hours into my sleep and comes back

to our bed with us and sleeps soundly. 

They both seem pretty happy and safe with this plan,

so we will stick to it for a while. 

Then there are nights like a few nights ago,

Elijah was having a rough day with obedience,

so we decided that he needed some extra lovin' and 

needed to sleep in our room too - 

so out came the sleeping bag and blankets on the floor. 

Another night, Jailyn had an early gymnastics meet the next day -

so she slept on our floor as to not wake everyone in the house

with her early morning routine. 

Jailyn sees this a another something special for her

competition days.

Last week, 

Jailyn had a bad dream one night and came to bed with us,

and the next night 

Donovan decided to join us. 

So, really we play musical beds at night. 

(Jorja does not like to sleep anywhere but in her own bed -

so we rarely see her in our bed at night)

With all of our children, we have allowed them 

to come to our bed at night. 

And most definitely sleep on our floor when needed. 

But, especially our adopted kids -

night time is a scary time for most kids. 

For kids who have been alone in an orphanage 

night time is even more scary! 

I lay with my boys at night,

watching them fall asleep and wonder what is going on in their 

sweet, little heads. 

So there you have it - 

that's what we do. 

What do you do?

New group of "littles"

Elijah couldn't be happier to have some more littles

in the family.
(He was always a bit left out of the four-some.)

And even better - 

littles - that he is leader of!

And his little brothers love the ideas 

he comes up with. 

booted out...

Our little Elijah has been booted out of the position of

baby of the family.

 And though this is always hard,

he is doing better then we imagined. 

Though there are few places in which we regress in -

such as, 

he asked for a bottle like baby brother, for his birthday!

and he definitely sits and cuddles with mommy more 

then usual -

but I'll totally take that any day!

We saved a few big kid privileges for him.

One thing he has been wanting to do is to 

take a shower.

Rather than taking a bath!

And boy did he like this treat! 

Though we still need to keep an eagle eye on him.

And the next person in the shower has to watch their step

as there is  a lot of soap on the shower floor!

We also signed Elijah up for soccer this season!

And he couldn't have been more excited

for his first game! 

Way to go Elijah!

You are such a good big brother!

And the note he gave me this weekend,

melts my heart.

It says "I love you Momma"

It's not all rosy

I saw a t-shirt the other day at Target

I love this shirt! 

It is so true - the same goes for the bloggy world.

Well, most of the bloggy world.

I have some friends who have shared their heartaches with the world -

and in turn they have been reprimanded for sharing their reality.

Especially in the adoption community.

This just breaks me.

We need to be real.

Not every day is rosy!

Transitioning with a child who has never known family,

has never respected authority,

has never been loved unconditionally 

is NOT easy. 

It is a long road for everyone! 

But, 

ohhhh this face! 

When he is feeling safe and secure and trusting us as his family -

life is beautiful! 

And I wouldn't trade it for anything else! 

God can heal -

and in HIM I put my trust! 

Sticking together!

One things our adopted kids worry about is,

"Will my family be here when I get home from school?"

"If I go to sleep, 

will they be there when I get up in the morning?

"I'm going to have poor behavior,

because being nice is too hard and I may like my new family,

and then...

what if they leave me?"

So, we did a little project today -

We made and decorated our family,

and talked about how we will always

"stick together"

and because we stick together

we don't want to hurt each other.

We had a great time doing this and the kids were excited

to tape their "families" to the door -

this way they can see if every time they leave the home,

or when mom or dad leave. 

P.S. the big kids would have done it too -

but they were off with their friends 

for the day!

and were a bit sad that they missed out on this project -

I may just have to make more for them to do!

P.S.S. I am also thinking of doing one with just Mom, Dad and specific kiddo 

to laminate.

They can then take it with them to school, 

or a sleep over or where ever they need to be reminded 

that we stick together!

6 month post adoption

I can't believe today is our 6 month post adoption visit 

with our Social Worker.

In a few weeks we will celebrate Donovan and Elijah
being home  for 6 months!

Amazing!

Our family has experienced so much in the last 6 months.

The excitement.

We played together, 

we learned together, 

we were silly together,

we laughed together,

we tickled each other,

we held each other.

The pressure.

We tested our boundaries together,

we learned limits together,

we cried together,

we screamed together,

we pouted together,

we prayed together,

we held one another.

The stress.

we grieved together,

we were sad together,

we cried together,

we prayed together,

we held each other.

The growth.

We are growing together,

we are understanding each other,

we still cry together,

we are still silly together,

we love to tickle each other,

 we pray together 

and we hold each other!

We are incredibly thankful for these two little boys 

who have changed our lives!

Thanks be to God, who brought them home 

to us!

Adoption Poll

Some of you may have noticed the poll I put up yesterday -
as fellow adoptive parents
who are home with your children,
I am asking for your help.

 If y'all would also like to leave a comment 

or email me at 

soccermom@tx.rr.com
please feel free to do so. 

Through out our 6 years of being part of the adoption community,

we have met many people,

some have had wonderful experiences,

some not so wonderful.

I am wondering where you have found your support.

Did you find support through local friends?

A local adoption group?

Bloggy friends?

Did your agency provide support for you?

Or was there someone else who supported you through

thick or thin.

Thank you for your help! 

Growing Together

A few weeks ago at church we hit a milestone

with our little guy!

You see, our church serves donuts -

and well, yes, as soon as we arrive -

all the littles as how many donut holes they can have.

The answer is always 3.

This Sunday was no different -

we entered the building and all 4 ran off for donuts,

the only difference,

was that Dad and I stopped to talk to a friend

who's wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer.

As we were talking to him,

out of the corner of my eye I saw my little guy...

he had come back -

he had his cup of donuts,

but he was coming back to find me. 

To check on me.

To make sure I hadn't left him.

This is H.U.G.E. in the world of bonding and attachment!

Elijah is doing well with the transition but this is the first time

that he has actually sought me out.

He finds me at home -

but in a public setting -

he has always found security in his brother.

Weeks later and I am still teary eye'd over this!

I am so thankful that I am more to him then 

a cook, maid,

and the person who makes him pick up his toys.

I am his mommy and he is beginning 

to believe it. 

Figuring things out!

I have had bloggy friends and real life friends 

inquire on my absence from bloggy land,

and social activities lately-

well, I suppose it is time to come clean.

 

As I haven't been able to earlier, 

because I hadn't figured it out -

not that I have "it" figured out now,

but thought I would share anyway. 

****

I remember welcoming Brady and Kenze home from their first missionary trip 

to Guatemala a few years ago. 

They were so excited to share about their adventures,

the people they met,

the things they did. 

I loved hearing their stories,

but a few days later,

when pictures had been shared and stories had been told,

Brady started to pull away. 

He wasn't his happy go lucky self anymore. 

He missed longed for Guatemala,

he missed his new friends,

he missed the simplicity of life and 

how people were thankful for the little things 

that they had received. 

It took a while for Brady to work through these emotions

and to let God use them for His will in his life.

********

I am also going through a bit of this I believe.

I am so thankful that our boys are home and doing so wonderfully well.

But, when Donovan cries because he misses his friends,

I cry too. 

I miss his friends.

I miss sitting on the steps of the orphanage

with a bottle of lotion and have the 

children cheer for me as they put out their arms and legs 

for me to massage lotion on them.

I miss singing with them.

 

I miss playing frisbee with them

 

and how I wish I could do more.

So after talking with a friend today,

I don't think I am suffering from PADS (post adoption depression syndrome)

but is there a post mission trip depression syndrome?

silly momma!

Donovan has been sharing many parts of
his history with us,

and some just crack me up!

Especially when he gives me that,

"silly momma" look!

M: Did the "Abooma" eat your Gambella Daddy's sheep?
(*Abooma - we're not completely sure what this is -
some kind of scary thing -
they play "abooma" and run around chasing each other -
every photo of  a dinosaur is an "abooma",
and when ever they are outside near trees and bushes the boys are nervous
about the "Abooma".)

D: yes.

M: Did the Abooma eat your chicken?

D: no. giggle. giggle!

Chickens are inside my house. 

******

D: I fish in Africa.

M:  You fished in Africa?

Did you like to fish?

D: Yes!

M:  Did you fish with a stick?

D: Ha! You silly!

I fish with my hands! 

Silly momma !!!

seven children,

seven personalities,

seven ways to re-act to any given situation.

some are very sensitive,

some are very strong willed,

some are sarcastic,

some are just plan silly.

to some academics come easily,

some excel creatively,

some need to run and play.

Some like to cuddle and read a book,

some find security in a good wrestling match.

Finding the balance for each of my kids can be rough some days. 

Especially when I think I have them figured out 

WATCH OUT!

The creative one wakes up feeling very strong willed

and sarcastic.

Throws me for a loop.

Some mornings all mornings, 

I wish when I woke them for the day,

there would be a little bubble over their heads 

to tell me what personality they would be embracing today. 

Ohhh, that would make our mornings go sooo much more smooth!

Attaching hurts!

Last night Daddy and the big kids had to go out for a while,

as the little kiddo's were heading to bed.

Daddy had earlier taken Donovan to his soccer practice,

Donovan loves his alone time with Daddy

and hates to let go.

As Daddy left Donovan sat on the stairs watching them leave,

crying.

Real crocodile tears.

Broke my heart.

After they left,

Donovan and I were able to sit and chat on the stairs. 

He loves Daddy soooo much!

It is soooo hard to let him go!

and I know that he is scared that his Daddy wont come back for him.

The pain of attaching and loving another person can be so painful!

Being willing to open your heart to another person 

who may disappoint you after being hurt so bad 

in the past 

really hurts sometimes.

I was reminded of our first week in Ethiopia,

when we first met our boys.

Every day they opened up to us more and more.

They began to trust us,

to love us,

to want to come home with us.

But, our last day there - 

both boys,

especially Donovan began to act out.

He was disobedient to everyone,

he was pouty,

and did a lot of whining.

We knew that he was putting up his defenses,

that he wanted to love,

but he knew we were leaving and didn't want to be hurt again.

Ohhhh our sweet boy!

The hurt that he has endured breaks my heart,

but we are thankful that God can repair his heart,

and we know HE will!

To give them beauty for ashes,
      The oil of joy for mourning,
      The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
      That they may be called trees of righteousness,
      The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:3




We are thankful that God is healing our sons
and daughters!
They do love being family!

Refreshing

Life is still going well as we transition 

and fine our new normal.

But there are days and times that I just feel that I need to be refreshed.

Going from a family of 7 to 9 is...

well...

takes getting used too.

So when I realized that I had a "free" night,

free night - I only have to run the shuttle bus for 2 kids, 

and Brady would be home to babysit,

and on the same night there was meeting for adoptive/foster moms in town that I have 

been wanting to attend.

And though I hate going to new places by myself,

I decided that I really needed this!

And guess what?

These ladies didn't bite,

they didn't think I was totally crazy 

(maybe a little crazy,

but they were sweet about it.),

and they shared a lot of the same feelings and situations we 

have experienced over the last 5 years.

It was so wonderful to talk to other mom's,

and hear their stories,

and realizing that I really am not alone.

I'm so excited to meet with these ladies next month!

And 

this fall and spring,

they  we will be doing a study of the book,

Created to Connect.

For you who are local, 

Join us for The Journey

check out this website!

We'd love to have you join us!

One day at a time

Sometimes it's one moment at a time.

There are times that I feel like I am soaring high above

the congestion.

And sometimes I feel like I'm in the middle of 

the congestion.

And there are times when I feel 

like I've run off the road 

and just want to sit there for a bit.

Isaiah 40:31

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary, 

they will walk and not be faint.

A boy and his helmet!

Ya' know -

you only get your first bike helmet once.

And Donovan has hardly taken his off since we purchased it 2 days ago! 

He even wore it to Jailyn's gymnastics class.

Such a sweet thank you!

Elijah loves his too!

(look mom no hands or feet!)

And we are thankful the boys 

have learned what a "sidewalk" is and that they are

to stay out of the street,

 so well that we can play in the front yard,

with our bikes and scooters,
and get our "new" bikes in working order for the boys
(put training wheels on Donovan's bike!)

and Conner decided to do some hangin' with his peeps...

and do some planking!

Ohhhh happy summer days!