I plead!!!

I am soooo frustrated! 

I'm sorry if I offend anyone but I can't keep this to myself anymore!

I have had my pity party and I'm personally over it.

I have had a hard week of feeling alone,

and that no one really cared that 

I am trying to keep everything together 

for everyone in my home. 

Trying to balance all the personalities, all the emotional needs,

physical needs, medical needs,

all the aches, and all the reactions my kids have to whatever 

is going on at that moment. 

I seriously can count on one hand the people who 

have actually looked me in the eye and asked me 

"how are you doing."

And that, to me, is sad. 

Very sad.

I believe people have prayed for us before Hagan and Griggs came home

and since they have come home -

and we truly appreciate that. 

Though sometimes a mom just wants someone to talk too...

One dear friend met me and our kids at the park a few weeks ago,
as we chatted, laughed, goofed off with the kids

 she shared with me that she doesn't feel like God is leading them to adopt.

I told her, that is okay, because her ministering to my family 

in the many ways she does is also ministering to the orphan.
She takes checking in with me seriously.

Meeting me at the park 

and spending hours just chatting with me,
listening to my funny stories, rough moments,
aches and pains... 

ohhhh such sweet medicine.

But it's not me who I'm upset for 

(at least not today :) - I had my pity party and I'm good now) 

Instead, 

I have received messages from or about four adoptive families within 24 hours...

four families in horrible pain.

Pain that is literally tearing their families apart.
I'm talking divorce,
depression,
suicide,
cutting...

The number one reason each family gives for their struggles 

is because they don't feel they have anyone to support them 

through these hard times. 

An adoptive parent often feels like they need 

to show that they have it all together. 

We do this so we don't have to hear these responses... again...

"You knew what you were getting into."

"That's why I wont adopt, those children will ruin your life."

"When will they get over it..."

"Didn't you read books before you brought them home?"

I know we adoptive families are confusing!

We say that we have to spend this precious time with our new family member 

and teach them that we are their family.

We say that we need to "cocoon" with this child.

No one else can hold him/her,

no one else can feed him/her,

we have to show them who their family is and build that trust.
But that does not mean that we want to be forgotten.
Meals delivered the first few weeks is great -
but usually this time period is what we call "The Honeymoon Phase" -
things usually go pretty well...
Where are friends when the "Honeymoon Phase" is over.
When the tough really sets in?

I am particularly talking to the Church right now.
If you call yourself a Christian, a follower of Christ Jesus -
then you are part of the body of Christ.
Are we not told in I Corinthians 12
15) Now if the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body",
it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16) And if that ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.  17) If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18) But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19) If they were all one part, where would the body be?  20) As it is, there are any parts, but one body.

My plead today is just this -

Church, please reach out to an adoptive family. 

PLEASE!!!!
and by reach out I mean,
take the time to really listen to the family.
Do not judge how they feel,
just be there for them -
as your relationship strengthens you will know what they need
and how you can help them more specifically.


I am preaching to myself too!
I need to step it up to support these families around me.

And please know -
 it's not just families who have recently adopted who need support,

it's not just the adoptees who need support.

Families who have been together for years need support.

Adoptees don't get over it!