Monday, February 20, 2017

Sometimes it's hard to see

I love to show photos of the growth my Miles 
has made in the 19 months that he has been in our arms!

But often we forget that his sweet heart is still broken,
still doubts, 
and still fears.

If I go out without him, he constantly asks if I will come back.
When he goes to bed,
he asks if I will be there in the morning.

Though some of his questions may seem "normal",
when we think of his beginnings 
we know where these doubts stem from.

Miles attends speech preschool for 2 hours twice a week.
He has been so brave going with a smile on his face,
well, after the first week! 
He is constantly growing! 

The first week, I told the aide that he had food in his backpack.
I was aware that they don't have time for snack during 
this class, but he feels safe when he has food.

Her response, "Ohhhh - just like Griggs!" 

Yep!! Just like Griggs did! 

I am so thankful that our teachers allow our kids to bring food 
in their backpacks! 

The other day, 
we were running late, 
almost forgot Miles' backpack -
and unfortunately forgot his food.

And then, 
I did the unthinkable!
During his school time, I had made an appointment for Jailyn and Hagan 
and we were late to pick up Miles.
I knew he was safe,
but fear set it for Miles that I had left him.

(I love to watch him embrace life!)

When I got to his school,
he was safely with his teacher but the look on his face
was piercing! 
Every fear he ever had weighed heavily on him.

I chatted with the teacher a bit,
apologizing for being late.
She was super sweet, and let me know that Miles 
had a rough day - 
very whiney and not wanting to participate, 
not like Miles at all!
She feared he was getting sick. 

I explained to her that I thought it was the lack of food in his 
backpack and the fear of not having food
that put him in this mood. 

Thankfully, before going home  Jailyn shared her snack with Miles 
and all was right in Miles' world again.
Though we see this sweet smile and 
his "stinker" look!
A part of his heart still looks like this...

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