Monday, July 6, 2015

What we will look like when we return home...

A conversation came up today from a good friend asking,
how soon he can love on our kids when they get home.

I loved this question,
as my friends are learning that we have to do things a little 
different when we bring our new kiddos home.

So, for those who are in our little community,
I thought I would share a bit of how we do things.

Our kiddos will only have known us for 2 weeks,
and even though we have been dreaming, praying and loving them
from a distance - 
they don't know us and haven't been dreaming about us!!
We are strangers to them.

Both Laynee and Miles have been in loving foster homes.
They will be grieving the loss of their families,
and everything else they have known all their lives -
smells, tastes, noises, 
and language to name a few!

I still don't know how these brave kids of ours do it!
I have a hard time being away from Chick-fil-A 
for 2 weeks! 
I can't imagine what they are going through.

So, with this -
we have to pull the kids closer to us!
They have to learn that we are their family
and learn the difference between family and friends.
They will be learning how our family works
and how our house runs.

Even Jailyn said today,
"I know that I can't feed or dress Laynee and Miles 
for 2 months, that is what you and Dad do for bonding...
but can I do it after 2 months?"

And that is a rule of thumb.
Our new kids need to learn that mom and dad are here to care for them
and meet their needs.
This can be time consuming and seem unnatural but it so worth the time for bonding.
The kiddos will be with either dad or I at all times.

We will be keeping the other kids daily schedule 
as normal as possible -
getting them to soccer and gymnastics,
and other activities,
and playing with friends. 
All along keeping Laynee and Miles near to us.

If things go as they have in the past,
we will be keeping close to home as much as possible.
Being away from our other kids for this long of a period -
regression can happen  -
so we pull everyone closer. 

We may be doing things differently than you would think 
we should be doing for and with a 5 year old and 3 year old,
but know that everything we do
is to begin to heal their wounds from their past 
and build the bond between all of us. 

We will be getting to know them also,
so sometimes we may not be communicating well - 
but we will be trying. 
And we will find a way to communicate with each other.

So, if you see us around town -
please say hi! 
We love to chat and introduce our kiddos to you,
but please do not pick them up 
or give them gifts at this time. 
We want them to know how special they are,
but we need this to come from the immediate family. 
We thank y'all for your prayers and excitement for us!
We are so excited to finally be bringing our babies home!
Thank you for understanding 
and being patient with all of us during this time of transition!

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