When we got to our training on Thursday morning,
all of these were on our table...
and I thought -
"I have these things at home...
in my closet."
Bad mom #1!!!!
Through out the training we played with
as we listened!!
And many, many times they helped us keep our focus!!
So, I have pulled out the box of figits...
and we are all enjoying them!
One exercise that Dr. Purvis talks about is chewing gum.
More specifically Double Bubble!!!
The sense of chewing is calming to the brain,
and while chewing, the brain is getting constant proprioceptive input.
The act of chewing gum also provides the sensory input to the muscles
in the jaw and ears
allowing children (and adults) concentrate better!
Dr. Purvis asked us to play a game with our kids this first weekend home...
Every time our kids asked for a piece of gum...
we have to say "yes"!
The reason for this is to build bonging with our children.
Children who have a beautiful infancy learn that if they ask -
their momma will come.
If they are hungry - they cry - and are fed.
If they are bored - they cry - and are played with.
Our children from hard places -
did not receive this care,
they learned at an early age that if they were hungry -
their cries were not heard,
so they didn't cry anymore.
They never received a "yes" from their caregiver -
the caregiver was always in charge,
our kiddos learned in infancy
that their opinion didn't matter -
that they were unworthy of having an opinion.
They don't know what it is to actually hear "yes",
and have the brain develop healthy.
So, this weekend we have implemented this exercise!
I told the kids whenever they wanted some that I would say "yes".
They all cheered!!
There was one child, my negotiator, who saw some other gum...
and asked if she could have that gum.
I allowed this because I know the flavor of gum is
something that this child is constantly craving.
Another, chose a ring pop -
again, the sucking of the ring pop is something this child also craves.
This has been an amazing experiment...
we went to a soccer game and Donovan realized in the car,
that I had really brought the bucket of gum with me.
"Momma, you brought the gum with us?"
"Yes, I sure did Cowboy."
(that's what Dr. Purvis says, and well, to add humor to the situation -
I thought I would channel my inner Purvis! haha)
He sat back,
completely relaxed in the car
I laughed and laughed!
But realized that just doing what I said I would do has built trust
between Donovan and I.
As the day went by,
"I don't want any more gum...
I am on a sugar overload!"
"Can I have some crackers."
This morning is day 2 of our experiment...
peoples attitudes have changed...
(kids and parents!)
People are taking correction as correction,
not with the fear of failure
and the fear
that something terrible will happen to them.
And, some are good with not asking for gum...
but are willing to help me remember to bring the bucket with me!