Thursday, March 20, 2014

Momma's sorry

As I apologized to my kiddos the other evening,
I had had a bad attitude…
things they were doing were driving me nuts.

I had to explain to them my frustrations.

I'm really not frustrated with them!
I'm frustrated with the people who were entrusted with 
my babies before I was able to get them home.
The people who made my kids so very fearful,
and who unknowingly taught them in order to survive
you have to think of yourself first 
and not care about the other person.
The people who, unknowingly, taught them to fear authority.
Who told them that they are worthless.

Donovan chimed in,
"you mean the people who would hit me with a hose?…
that hurts."

"Yes, baby!!!" as tears streamed down my face.
"Those people."

And Jorja,
"The people who locked me in that room."

"Yes, baby!!"  
"Those people."
ohhhh lands more tears.

I can't tell you why y'all had to go through that,
I pray that it will make y'all stronger adults and
that you will know how to treat and how not to treat people.

"That makes sense Mommy.  
You got to us as fast as you could.
My nannies, treated me good…
but they didn't know how to feed me,
Momma, you had special bottles for me
and helped me get healthy and strong."

Hagan joined in,
"you no call me names."

Ohhhh break my heart!!!

Yesterday I saw photos of a baby who had just had a shunt put in 
for his Hydrocephalus. 
I broke down again.
My baby girl, Maklayne, had to go through that surgery all alone.
Every day we are apart from her the ache grows more and more to get her home.

Ohhhhh how I love my sweet girl 
a world away - 
but already 
my daughter. 

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

This breaks my heart for you and everything your babies went through. You're such a good momma! Praying for you as you wait to get to your baby.😘


Blog Widget by LinkWithin