Wednesday, July 31, 2013

"I cried for you"

When we chat with our little kids about our wait for them,
there is always one common part of our discussion...

how much I missed them,

how much I longed to hold each one of them,

and how often I cried for them.

And through this discussion I cry again, every time...

I still cry because my kids have the hardest time 
believing that someone would cry for them.
That someone, who they never met, could care for them 
so deeply and miss them so much 
they would be brought to tears.

There are many times even now that I cry 
for my kids. 
I cry when they resist our love.

Their resistance isn't rebellious,
it's out of fear,
and the feeling of being unworthy of such love.

In the hospital Hagan's received his pain reliever a bit too late,
and it took some time to get the new dosage to kick in.
He cried quiet, crocodile tears,
and I began to cry too.

He looked at me in shock. 
Why would I cry too.
I explained to him how sorry I am that he has owies. 
He settled down and rested on my shoulder.

Ohhh the peace in knowing someone hurts because you hurt. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written, Jodi - hard for many people to understand unless they've "been there". God gave you a BIG BIG heart for a BIG BIG reason! Your kids are SO lucky that God had you in His plan for their lives (AND yours!). God Bless! ~Faith


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