Thursday, February 19, 2009

Next time...

things that I will do differently when we adopt again.

First of all, I can't believe I actually spoke (okay, typed) that sentence. The last month and a half has been rough - and I wasn't ready to even speak those words, but God is working with me and preparing me again. He is helping me analyze our adoption of Jorja and Jailyn and what I have learned from both, and am still learning.

Lesson #1

Chill Out!

Why does a stay-at-home mom think she doesn't need to take a six-week maternity leave?
I really wish I had taken time off of everything for at least a few weeks. We did enjoy getting out and seeing friends, but next time I will take more time to get organized at home and just hang out.
I feel like it has taken me six weeks to get back to myself again.

Lesson #2
Birth age is not always developmental age

I knew this in my head, but preparing Jorja for school in the fall has been difficult. I am beginning to slow down with her and she is doing much better. I have been verbally referring to the girls as my 3 year olds. The older kids corrected me, of course, but I explained to them that Jorja is developmentally a 3 year old.
So what if she is not ready for kindergarten in the fall. God will provide schooling for her. Whether she needs a private pre-school, public school, a charter school or home school.

Lesson #3

Babies vs. Older Children

We knew it would be different but didn't realize in how many ways bringing home our 5 year old is the same as bringing home our 16 month old.
- sleepless nights
- diapers
- bland foods
- temper tantrums (like I've never seen before - and I though I had seen it all!)
- not being able to leave them alone as they will find anything and everything to get into.
Added differences:
- bad habits - spiting whenever/where ever she wants
- screaming in fun whenever/ where ever she wants
- never had learned what a "hot" stove is!
- doesn't understand the safety precautions needed to cross a street or walk in a parking lot.

All orphans are survivors but older children are even more survivors! Which is a nice way to say they are stubborn and know how to get their way. Learning to share and learning house and social rules are a daily battle.

But, how fun she is to take to the park and see run with freedom! And the hugs are endless! The silly expressions are precious! Watching her learn and experience all these new things are priceless!

Lesson #4
Accept help

This has been a hard lesson for me. Accepting help is very difficult for me! I think I should be able to do it all! Guess what - others want to help! This doesn't make one a bad mom or incapable! God gave us friends and our church families as support systems! Let your friends help!!

Lesson #5

God is in control

This really should be lesson #1! Though things around have been breaking - household things... we are down to one full bathroom (for 7 people), our car engine has been in the shop for 3 weeks getting a new/used engine, a roof leak... but Jorja's Hep B test came back negative! And that trumps every other struggle!
Satan has tried to attack our lives, our spirit and our faith! God has remained faithful!!!! And He wins!!

Lesson #6

God wants more

What is "more" - we are not sure yet. Praying that God will show us His plan for us and what He wants us to do from here.
Just a few lessons I have learned so far! I know there are many more to come! Hopefully, they wont be hard lessons for me to learn!


Heather BT said...

hmm, there's a 12 year old at Bethel who desperately wants a home..... :)

Thanks for the post, very timely as I prep to go and bring home Calliandra (Come one Seeking Confirmation Letter!)

Cupcakes and Hairbows said...

LA LA LA LA (as Lucy says with her ears covered as to not want to go down that path again with you....). I suppose you saw Stephanie's "news"? Amazing! We, of course, wish you all the VERY best, but we are done!!!

Tena said...

Sending prayers as you learn more about the journey you're on. You are not alone, my friend!

Valerie said...

I take a few sick days off and you are posting like crazy.

Happy B-day to Ms J.

I feel the burden of all things going wrong at once. Somehow you do make it all go.

Maybe the "more" you are hearing it to take my two in and raise them it possible?

Love V

NancyW said...

Just a word of encouragement...the first 6 months with a new 4/5 year old are the hardest. They have so much to catch up with, but by the end of the summer, you will be amazed at how far Jorja will have come. Sarah gained 5 months of development in her first 3 months home, then by 6 months home, she had progressed a whole year's worth of development.

Nicole said...

LOVED this post! I'm glad to hear He is wanting more from you. Stay tuned to my blog!!!
Also, things have been crazy here too! All 3 cars in the shop within a 2 week period! I finally had to laugh about it! The enemy IS NOT stealing my JOY!


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