It seems that every where I turn people,
who have never adopted,
are always telling horror stories about adoption.
"my friends, cousins, brother-in-law,
adopted a child from some where in Africa.
That child was horrible,
he tore the family apart.
He wouldn't respect his parents from day one!
They should have seen the signs before
they even paid for him."
You get it!!!
This just hurts me so deeply!!
Children who have never lived in a US average American family -
should not be expected to understand how to live in an average
American family from day one!
They may not understand how to actually respond to unconditional love -
for a loooooooong time!!!!
we do have our expectations.
Expectations that because we want them with us,
and we have longed to hold them for so long -
they should some how know this,
and respond appropriately!
But, you know what that is not how it works!!!
When we announced that we were adopting from Ethiopia,
people thought we were incredibly nuts!
Our first few years with Jorja home were not as easy
as the first years with Jailyn.
But, you know, everyone has their own personality,
and their own history that needs to be worked through
and not swept under the rug.
As we continued through our paperwork for Ethiopia,
Jorja began to understand how long the paperwork process works.
When we saw the photos of our boys for the first time -
and started asking questions...
"I wonder what their giggles sound like?"
"I wonder if they will want to play soccer?"
"Will they like us?"
She understood that we did the same for her,
we cried for her to be home,
and we prayed and prayed for her.
There was so much healing in Jorja during our wait
to bring home Donovan and Elijah!!!
Only God could use this wait to help Jorja heal.
I am putting a plead out there for y'all!!
If you meet an adoptive family,
or someone in the process,
or even someone thinking about adoption -
please don't tell them horror stories,
be there to listen to them.
Listen to their concerns, fears, excitement
and encourage them to get connected to an Adoption Community
that can help them.
There is a lot of help out there -
it's just hard to look sometimes when you are in deep!
I don't believe that every one is called to adopt,
but everyone is called to care for the orphan!!
This is one way that you can care for the orphan and
for the entire family.
I am so thankful to so many friends of ours who walk through
this crazy life with us,
and don't judge us,
but instead encourage, and listen to all of my stories, concerns and fears.