Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Firm Foundations

Though our little boy has been loved unconditionally for 2 years,
he has had food when he needs it,
he gets hugs and gives hugs all day long,
he knows he is loved...

there is still the struggle inside his own self - 

"Should I trust these people?"

"I still need to be in control."

"I need to force my survivor instincts in this home."

And boy does he force his survivor instincts.

Soooo, what do we do?

When he is sweet, he is amazingly sweet!!! 
and loveable!!!

When he is in survivor mode -
he is not sweet,
NOT sweet at all!!!
(I would even say - he is literally a different child)

We have decided to start from the beginning.
After almost 2 years of allowing him to have independence,
we are back to building a firm foundation with our boy.

He has to go every where with momma,
he is back in mom and dad's room at night,
when he gets up in the morning - 
he is not allowed to go play in the playroom or any where else,
he is to go straight to the kitchen table.
(kitchen table - because I am usually in the kitchen or close by
doing something with someone :)
When we get home from school -
same story -
straight to the table until I see that he has regulated himself
and can play nicely and safely. 
(interesting enough - when I tell him he can get down to play,
he often tells me that he wants to stay at the table.) 

We often think of the adoption journey as the paperwork 
prior to bringing our kids home,
or the trip to our kids,
but truly the journey is life long.  
Healing cannot be given a timeframe. 
God is healing our son little by little,
and our job is not to fix him but show him God's love.

Isaiah 54:10
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, 
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the Lord, 
who has compassion on you."

1 comment:

Us! said...

You are such a good momma! He will find his way, and learn to trust others! I'm so proud of you for taking him back to the beginning, and starting the journey again. What a benefit for him, for his future! Stay strong!
In Him,


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